“Never in my whole life have I been so stressed. I don’t really know what the word is. That I’m made to feel like that by these people. How it feels like you’re doing something wrong, why can’t I get a grip on it? In the midst of all of this you have got to do this incredibly important job that is stressful in itself.”

“After he had finished shouting at me I was shaking, felt really terrible, weak, got a doctor’s appointment and was signed off with work related stress for three weeks.”

“This individual is now claiming unfair dismissal on the grounds they were suffering work related stress as a result of the ongoing issues.”

“I became short fused. I had been a mega patient person at work and began taking my frustration out on my loved ones.”

The CIPD Annual absence management survey (2011) reports that 31% of respondents cited relationships at work in their top three causes of work related stress. Other factors cited include: workloads / volume of work (48%); management style (40%) and non-work factors – relationships / family (37%).  While the overarching aim of a healthy workplace is central to organisational objectives, it should also be remembered that all employers have a legal duty of care to minimise the risk of stress related illness or injury to employees.

‘How to respect colleagues?’ was an interesting keyword search on www.optforlearning.co.uk this month and perhaps a question senior managers, line managers, supervisors and employees can pose in the context of their own organisation to minimise the risk of stress related illness.

• Create a common understanding of the behaviour that is acceptable in your workplace

• Raise managers’ skills and confidence to manage interpersonal conflict quickly and effectively

• Promote respect for personal and professional boundaries

• Practice open communication

Recognising and resolving inappropriate workplace behaviour launched 8 June 2010 click here to read more in HR Magazine.

In the course of my work I interview all types of employee about their experiences of workplace behaviour.  The disruption caused by the misuse of the term “bully” is an ongoing theme.

Misuse of the term “bully” can have a devastating effect on the organisation, individual workers and teams:

* A distraction from daily business
* Complex and time consuming investigations
* The impact of the decisions taken
* Rising levels of work related stress and high absence are just some examples.

Creating a workplace where workers are skilled and confident to raise their concerns early and informally, as well as improving their knowledge and understanding of the phrase “bullying at work” can go a long way towards preventing the real life scenario below:

“He made a wordy complaint in writing that I had bullied him. The company commissioned an investigation by an independent third party and they found no evidence whatsoever to support his allegations.

I had been responsible for advising his line manger on senior management’s decision.  Basically, the guy was frustrated with the message and decided to vent this by accusing me, the messenger, of bullying. I had two meetings with this guy, no email or other correspondence, no telephone calls or personal contact and he accused me of bullying him.

I was really stressed out during the investigation, it’s not pleasant to be accused unfairly like that.  I think I was the one being bullied for doing my job.”

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Here is an article written by Coreen Nugent on this theme in June 2009, titled “Workplace bullying: Top tips for tackling the problem” – click on the image :