Many workplace issues, if dealt with early, can be resolved. However, there are times when third party intervention can be the only answer. The following is a real life scenario where workplace mediation helped to prevent a situation escalating to the point of a break down and minimising the impact on everyday business:
“She was very difficult to work with, she made errors, she didn’t read instructions properly and everything became very confusing as a result. When I tried to talk to her about it she became defensive, aggressive really, sending me comments to my notes in RED BLOCK CAPITAL LETTERS, telling me I’d given the wrong instructions. Everyone was working flat out at the time so I just got on and made the best of it but it was a nightmare experience, tip toeing around her. Once the project was completed I was inclined to let it lie and probably would have if I wasn’t going to be working with her again quite soon. Because of this I decided to give her some feedback by way of an email, on my experience of the process.
I thought my email was respectful, I gave specific examples, didn’t use any language that could be construed as rude or emotive, it definitely wasn’t an attack on her personally. I even asked a colleague who had no stake in the project for his opinion before I sent it.
Within five minutes of pressing send I got an email back from her, telling me she didn’t like my attitude, that I was rude and unprofessional, lots of block capitals and exclamation marks. I was astonished, I felt quite sick it was so aggressive. I was on the verge of sending her an angry email back when a colleague told me to take a breather. He was very calming, he told me not to respond so quickly and take some time out to think about what would be achieved by an angry email and to consider the outcome I really wanted.
After thinking about it I decided that not much would be gained by buying into this email exchange but I couldn’t bear carrying this stuff with me. It made me feel miserable and it was unfair. So I reluctantly spoke to my manager, I felt bad about that, she had so much on at the time. She was good though, and suggested we got someone to facilitate a meeting between us. My manager suggested it should be someone who wasn’t directly involved in our work and who would take an independent approach.
The woman wasn’t keen on a meeting, she said there was no reason, and she didn’t want other managers involved talking about her. My manager sorted it and got her to agree to mediation, I think this may have been because of the assurance of confidentiality.
The Mediator was fantastic, he encouraged us to look at each other’s point of view, what we needed from each other, what would make it better for both of us, at the end I think we were both reassured and had a clear agreement to work to as the way forward.
I can’t bear to think what would have happened when we started on the next project if we hadn’t had the mediation. We’re not big buddies but we get along fine and have a clear understanding of what the other one needs to work together.”
Workplace mediation is so fundemental that it suprises me it is not higher up the HR Managers agenda. All to often we turn to mediation (and other solutions) after the event and spend little or no time dealing with preventative measures. I know these can cost money, but prevention is much cheaper than trying to solve and tidy up a problem after the event. Training and awareness for all employees is critical to a harmonious and productive work environment.
Well done OPT for highlighting this important area.
Thanks Iris, Taking a preventative approach and helping businesses create working environments based on open and constructive dialogue is central to our work. Investing in training to enable employees raise issues at work with empathy and respect definitely pays off. In my experience the disruption and cost when minor issues escalate is unnecessary and could always have been avoided.
I found your website too late to help me.
I found myself in a situation at work I was unable to handle. I really wish I had known about this type of information. Every workplace should ensure that staff know a blame free pathway to help when they find themselves so unhappy they don’t want to come to work. I thought because I couldn’t solve the problem I was a failure.
This type of knowledge would have guided me through my dilemma professionally, and maybe I wouldn’t have walked out of my job of over 20 years.
What a difference mediation would have made to my situation. I was crushed by continual conflict with a colleague. I thought we were all working towards a common purpose, and couldn’t understand why he was being obstructive and making personal attacks (verbal). I ended up with almost non existent self esteem and still find it very painful to remember. He said, at the end, that I spoke to him as if I was his mother. Mediation would have been so good for the company as we would have both had so much more to contribute if we could have been freed from that painful hostility.
I found the information on this website very useful, thank you. In my career as a business change consultant I have often found that there is unaddressed conflict within client delivery teams. In one situation a member of the team was unable to work effectively due to what everyone believed was an alcohol problem. Yet there were no obvious procedures or safe environments that could be used to support the team to deal with this issue of non performance in a compassionate and effective manner, which upheld the rights of the individual and the business.